food ethics, humor

Really? … Really? … Nooo…Really?

Umm…I don’t even know how to post this with out laughing.  (I guess you really can’t tell I am laughing since my typing is emotionless…anyhoo) It seems there is a certain animal rights group who is seeking to change what we call those things that swim in the water…you know the ones with scales and gills presently called FISH.  In an effort to make them more cute and cuddley they want to call them SEA KITTENS.  I am not kidding.  Here is a link to the Ad Age page about this story…it links to the actual page of the animal rights organization.

I agree with The Hunger Artist, from whom I got this story, the funiest part of this whole thing is the fact that they want to change then name of fish to that of a carnivore who feeds upon fish.  Irony thy name rhymes with DETA.

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humor

Back in the Pool, or How I Made My Boss Stop, Look and Laugh

Many of my friends know that I competitively swam for many years.  Well, Mae and I have returned to the pool.  I am currently working a program to get me back to swimming a mile within 6-weeks.   Presently I am on week 2.  From there, I will begin creating actual workouts.  I did not realize how much I missed swimming.  It is one of my favorite things to do.

HOWEVER, I learned from my doctor a while ago when I went in with an earache that I have a deformed right ear canal.  Instead of my canal going straight to the middle ear (see here for a medical chart of the inner ear), my canal dip before hitting my middle ear.  So water and wax (sorry for the gross) just sits there; Q-Tips do not work 100% of the time.

This leads me to the sub-title of this post.

This morning we went for a swim, and as I was making coffee at the office I head the familiar swish in my right ear telling me it was time to dance.  So, I took a napkin and stuck it in my ear and began to hop up and down (this ritual seems to work, but occasionally I am approached by amorous woodland creatures who think this is some sort of mating dance…).  As I was doing the Pylean dance of water exunticus my boss walked into the pantry.  Stopped.  Grinned.  Laughed. And said the only reasonable thing…”Went swimming, huh?”  “Yup.”  “Good Job!”

See below for a variation of the Pylean dance of water eunticus.

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Baptist, Christianity, death, faith, hope, humor, Religion, St. Francis of Assis

The Feast Of St. Francis

Today is the feast day of St. Francis of Assisi.  Click this link to learn more.

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I look at St. Francis as our family patron.  I know this is weird coming from an American Baptist, but it is true.  Mae and I both love the message the St. Francis preached.  One of peace, poverty, and humility and hospitality.

I  am constantly looking to St. Francis.  When I struggle with patience, when I struggle with finances, when I get anxious; I look at Francis and his example.  Just follow Christ and follow his commandments, and you will be comforted.  His theology is so simple.  Do as Christ did.  Yet it is so difficult.  That is why it is good to have a saint’s example to follow.

St. Francis also wrote my favorite prayer.

The Canticle of the Creatures.

Most High, All-powerful, All-Good, Lord!
All praise is Yours,
all glory, all honor
And all blessing.

To You alone, Most High, do they belong.
No mortal lips are worthy
To pronounce your name.

All praise be Yours, my Lord, through all that You have made,
And first my lord Brother Sun,
Who brings the day; and light you give to us through him.
How beautiful is he, how radiant in all his splendor!
Of You, Most High, he bears the likeness.

All praise be Yours, my Lord, through Sister Moon and Stars;
In the heavens You have made them, bright
And precious and fair.

All praise be Yours, my Lord, through Brothers Wind and Air,
And fair and stormy, all the weather’s moods,
By which You cherish all that You have made.

All praise be Yours, my Lord, through Sister Water,
So useful, lowly, precious, and pure.

All praise be Yours, my Lord, through Brother Fire,
Through whom You brighten up the night.
How beautiful he is, how gay!
Full of power and strength.

All praise be Yours, my Lord, through Sister Earth, our mother,
Who feeds us in her sovereignty and produces
Various fruits and colored flowers and herbs.

All praise be Yours, my Lord,
through those who grant pardon
For love of You;
through those who endure
Sickness and tria
l.

Happy those who endure in peace,
By You, Most High,
they will be crowned.

All praise be Yours, my Lord,
through Sister Death-of-the-Body,
From whose embrace
no mortal can escape.
Woe to those who die
in mortal sin,
Happy those She finds
doing Your holy will!
The second death can do
no harm to them.

Praise and bless my Lord,
and give Him thanks,
And serve Him with great humility.

Amen

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golf, humor

I AmTerrified

Yes, you read that correctly.  I am scared, nervous, anxious, and any other synonym for terrified you can think of.  You see, I was invited to participate in an event this coming Saturday that is way out of my league.  I will be around executives, captains of industry, and most importantly…suburbanites.  Particularly North Shore suburbanites.  This event I am going to is something I never thought I would do…a GOLF OUTING!

Yes, I will be having my fist golf game with people for whom the greens are their 2nd office.  Me and my 6 clubs and Kids sized golf bag will be hitting the greens.

The good news with this is that I may be almost guaranteed to win an award…for the worst score.

It should be fun, but I am still terrified.

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